One night late in the year 1968 the missing pages of the Book of Peter were found behind the eight ball in Scotty’s pool hall in the Bronx at the corner of Fordham and Webster, written in a code that has not yet been made to reveal their secrets. There is general agreement among scholars that the cipher is a Caesar shift, but the underlying plaintext language is neither Hebrew nor Aramaic nor Greek nor Latin. Have patience and tithe. Say hallelujah! Can I get a witness? Praise Jesus! Can I get an amen?