Fornication in thought transgresses as in deed. Young master, cast away thine unholy lustfulness with charitable works, tithing and the hand of Onan. Young maiden, if carnality consumes thee like the Whore of Babylon, pray and lay with me, and I will absolve thee by multiple cleansings of thy Cupid’s cloister with consecrated seed. I solemnly vow not to abandon my missionary position until Our Great God and Savior hath thy soul redeemed. Thou will be levied a tenth part for this penance. Say hallelujah! Can I get a witness? Praise Jesus! Can I get an amen?