From the long lost Book of Peter, discovered in a cigar box in the telephone booth of Sam’s candy store in the Bronx at the corner of Valentine and 203^rd one morning early in the year 1967 – and it came to pass that God now carried alive to Heaven, on a whirlwind more terrible than that for Elijah, the Very Right Reverend and Doctor of Divinity and Holy Emperor of the Cross and Defender of the Faith and Living Saint Peter the Second, raised up to the Hammer and Sword and Trumpet of God and First Archangel, with dominion over the lower seven, all angels and the children of God. His office included Patron Saint of Nubile Virgins, visiting another each midnight hour as Divine Incubus and then restoring her maidenhood upon honoring her virtue. The chronicle abruptly ends with the question of whether the Holy Trinity becomes fourfold, as the rest of the pages in the book have been torn out. Tithe. Say hallelujah! Can I get a witness? Praise Jesus! Can I get an amen?