Spiel Der Könige (Ludum Regum)

William Jones's Caïssa (The Goddess of Chess) by Domenico Maria Fratta
The Pride and Sorrow of Chess by SNKEveryday
Church of Laugardælir in Selfoss, Iceland
Your Humble Webmaster (FBI surveillance photo)
from his crib in the hood
is most honored to present an eclectic cinematic ensemble – Rorke’s Drift, The Smiling Man #1 I’m Glad It’s You Happy Birthday, The Smiling Man #2, Three Verses, The Breathtaking Lily, Creak 17 Pantomimes, Bye Bye Love, Black Venus (10), Please Don’t Change The Program On My Account, Vanilla Cake, One Please, I Heard It Too, Water Sanctuary Why Was I Not Made Of Stone Like Thee All Save One Shall Follow, Cougar #1 Blood Bank, Don’t Look Away, Mr. Thump, Knock, The Room At The Top Of The Stairs (20), Bath #1 Bath #2 Mama Trust, Dinner For Two, Carnival Of Souls So What Was I Saying, The Monkey’s Paw, A Tap On The Window, Around Me If A Woman Don’t Wear Mink She Don’t Wear Nothin’, Where’s Lips Manlis, I Was Beginning To Wonder What A Girl Had To Do To Get Arrested, I Kinda Like That Dame, Do You Want The Shirt Off My Back (30), Then Why Don’t I See You Smiling, I Just Thought There Was Somebody You Hadn’t Fucked, Did You Think You Could Get Away With It Or Not, That’s What They Get For Trying To Steal My Girl, I Do Not Understand This Shit With Gus And Moe, If I’m Not Dead By Monday Morning I’m Going To Stop Payment On That Check, I Was Hoping For Sooner, My Guys Are Not Stupid They Always Put The Big Jews On My Schedule, Lemme Hear That Dirty Word Socialism, Do You Think These Pigs Are Going To Regulate Themselves (40), All We Need Is A Voluntary Free Spirited Open Ended Program Of Procreative Racial Deconstruction, Good Night, Ring Daddy A Black Hole Rocking Chair, Katie, These Votes Must Be Procured With Malice Towards None With Charity For All, Jail Bait Fish Heads BP, Delores Haze, RFK #1, RFK #2, French Kiss Head Shot (50), Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge, The Disappearance of Willie Bingham, Cat Fight #1, He Seems Very Nice One Step Beyond The Outer Limits Bishōjo #33 Double Trouble #2, The Control Of Electromagnetic Radiation Emergency System, Blue Moon Dragon, Dr. Gunther And His Amazing Proctoscopic Examination Chair, Dr. Gunther Only Rents To The Pretty Ones #1, Dr. Gunther Only Rents To The Pretty Ones #2, Silent Snow Secret Snow (60), Charged Invisible Man, I Look Forward To Meeting My New Brother But I Prefer Being An Only Child, Put The Necklace Back On, Accept This Token Of Our Faith, Battle Of The Bastards #1, Battle Of The Bastards #2, Battle Of The Bastards #3, Not My Gentle Son, All Confessed Idolaters, Three Minutes (70)A Friendly Game Of Hoops On The Curb, The Tooth Fairy, Buy The Road Map And Leave, The Room, Blaze Of Glory, Two Hirsute Fellows, As Long As You Do Not Sleep With Any Other Fishes In The Sea By What Standards, I Had You Figured For Brains, It’s Like He’s Playin’ A Violin Or Something, Awesome Bowling Trick Shots Bracing Swim (80), Nata #1, Nata #2, Need Another Shower Today, Only Ten Steps, Just What The Cockroaches Have Been Waiting For, Talking Board Gone Awry, Thanks For The Mammaries, Three Yogis Long Pig Tartare Vanishing Pencil Movable Chopping Wall, Bath #3, Lou Thesz Versus Rikidozan (90), Doing It Old School, Frolicsome Maidens Settled Affairs, Try Picking An Apple Off Of Me Bitch, Flexible Sound Advice, We Are Associates Of Your Business Partner, Ghosties Lullaby, Solitary Holiday, Forty Whacks And Then Forty One More, Bath #5 Do You Want A Balloon Too #1 Captain Spaulding’s Monsters And Madmen Museum Fried Chicken Gasoline Stop The Whole Is Greater Than The Sum Of Its Parts, Vent And Stretch (100), Matchless, Busty Keeper Of The Gate, Tighten Up, Charles Bonnet Syndrome, Meow, Hot Soup Red Hat, Bishōjo #1, Bishōjo #2, Bishōjo #3, Bishōjo #4 What He Said (110), Bishōjo #5, Bishōjo #6, Bishōjo #7, Bishōjo #8, Bishōjo #9, Bishōjo #10, Bishōjo #11 Help Me, Bishōjo #12 Good & Plenty, Bishōjo #13 Shhh, Bishōjo #14 Tiparillo (120), Bishōjo #15 Twilight Zone, Audition, Life Of Daisy, Gator Boys, The World Famous Jackrabbit Slims Twist Contest Winners Abracadabra Pottery Man Yum Yum Eat ‘Em Up, Boxed In Do You Want A Balloon Too #2 Angels Of Mercy #1, Skypemare, My Beer The Dry Beer Is The One Beer To Have Blood Painting, Class Acts, Alyssa (130), Mother Died, Ladies Garden Club Tea Time, Bath #4, The Face That Did Not Launch A Thousand Ships Bishōjo #34 Launder ManI’ve Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts Tiptoe Through The Tulips Cougar #2, Pop Goes The Weasel, Alone In The House Bishōjo #16, Babysitter Bishōjo #17, Stitches Bishōjo #18, Into The Night (140), Doll Face, Cynthia, Premature Burial, Kookie Bishōjo #19, Ballerina, Bishōjo #20, Weeji Bishōjo #21, Annie, Pompeii, Death Of The Desert Fox (150), Luna, Loop Bedfellows, Charlie Charlie Are You Here, Where’s Waldo, Playa In A Management Profession, Jester #1, Jester #2, Growing Friendships, Angels Of Mercy #2 Good Doggy, Bishōjo #22 (160), Funny How Spider, Now Go Home And Get Your Fucking Shinebox, Pikes Peak Was A Pimple Then, Amazing Grace Bedtime#1 Bishōjo #23, Midnight Clear, Say Hello To My Little Friend, In Extremis, Fulfilling A Wifely Duty Bishōjo #24 Nowhere To Run Nowhere To Hide, Zero Views, Trunk Home Of The Iron Flamingos (170), The Dorset Possessed, Bishōjo #25 Cat Fight #2, Battle Of Cannae, Night Shift At The Gallows, All About Me WTF Emoji Bishōjo #26, Mirror #1 Mirror #2 Thomas Hewitt, Robin, Doors Closed Tonight, Telephone Song Living Doll Taffy, Conjure Water Nymphs #1 (180), You Got Him One Take Him Two Triple Play, Bedtime #2 Bedtime #3 Peripheral Vision, Super Merry Candy Cane Mr. Machine Cat Fight #3, Bedtime #4 Instawolf Fotopop The Brisket’s Really Good Here But You’ll Never Know It, Tell Me About The Oranges Lilly, Alone Eye, Dybbuk Box I Am The Warrior, I Thought Only Steers And Queers Come From Texas, SOS, Nina And Lydia (190), Spencer And Lucy, Whiskey Glass, Nice Legs, Lonesome Bishōjo #27, Bishōjo #28 Limping Frog, Fats Bishōjo #29, Bishōjo #30 Under The Stairs, Walk Like An Egyptian Dancing Machine #1 Dancing Machine #2, Jessica Bogeyman, Double Trouble #1 Gooble Gobble (200), The Tell-Tale Heart, Mask Of Evil #1, Your One Last Chance Mask Of Evil #2, Ric Flair Versus Terry Funk, King Kong Versus Godzilla, Anyway We Delivered The Bomb, Art The Clown #1 The Turk, Fordham Baldies, Wongs Del Bombers Ducky Boys, Art The Clown #2 (210), Bruce Lee Versus Chuck Norris, Twisty Don’t Play That Bishōjo #31 Art The Clown #3 Bishōjo #32, I Hate Myself For Loving You Fuh You, Naughty Naughty Naughty You Filthy Old Soomka Cursed Ring Video Tape National Pastime Valedictories, Autopsy, I Don’t Know What The Hell’s In There But It’s Weird And Pissed Off, Assimiliation, You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding, Blood Test, Come And Play With Us Bishōjo #35 Needle Drop (220), A Special Gift For Emily, Bishōjo #36, Show Me, The Rose She’s Gone, All Of Me, Memory At The Library, In The Tall Grass, The Killing Joke, Bishōjo #37, Ebony And Ivories (230), Bishōjo #38 And #39 Bishōjo #40 Opera Gloves, Water Nymphs #2, The Kazzula, Salvatore, Genius  plus the annual Lady Patzers Duffers And Woodpushers Great Strip Bare-Arsed Naked Blitz Chess Tournament, but first a sound check and then the roll call.
Did I forget to mention I'm a grandmaster, my dear?
All forfeited apparel will be donated for distribution among the needy.

Date:   Sooner or later      Location:   Here or there  

Registration Fee:   Put several hundred dollars (Benjamins preferred) in a plain manila envelope and leave in the cigar box under the seat inside the phone booth of Sam’s candy store (where egg cream reigned), but you’ll need to do this sometime before Thursday evening at six on the 27th of July 1967, because that’s when the damned place blew the fuck up. 

Blame it on a gas leak, an act of God, or . . . 

I'm flat broke and not very good. Can I tourney too? Gee, thanks!
No problem
If she plays for free why not me?

We are game for game on.

Each contestant properly attired for her first game.

Accommodations for players provided at very reasonable rates. Book now.
The tournament champion will, at the closing ceremony, serve to promote another bountiful harvest.
I don't think I approve of this.
Well I sure as bloody hell do!